‘No, you haven’t offended me’ she says blandly. ‘People come here and they’re angry, sad, irrational, whatever. I don’t take it personally.’
And I came in here worrying that I’d upset her. Now I’m pissed off that she’s not.
It was bloody personal. She’s a rich bitch and she knows nothing. And I’m not being irrational, or not especially. This isn't working out.
‘I’m sorry, I can’t do this any more’ I say as resolutely as I can.
I don’t really want to stop coming. I just want her to take me seriously.
‘Ok’ she says. ‘I’ll get Andy to take over. He’s got some time.’
She must’ve been expecting this.
Damn. I can’t play this game.
‘No, look. I don’t want to stop.’
‘Well can you tell me what you do want?’
So patronizing. I want her to give me some respect but she either will or she won’t. I can’t demand it. She probably wouldn’t even understand what I mean. Probably say I’m being paranoid or ‘over sensitive’. How often have I heard that? I feel like a thirteen year old again. I hate this.
‘Doesn’t matter’ I mutter finally, somewhat irritably, looking away. I want her to suffer a bit at least.
‘No, I think we should bring this to a close’ she says, standing up. ‘I’ll speak to Andy. Ok?’
Now I really feel crap. I’m being given up on, on top of everything else. I hate this so much.
I go up on deck without saying anything more.